Etiquette For a Wedding
Pay attention to these tips on the dos and not-to-dos in etiquette for the big day.
Andie: That's so gorgeous, my name is Andie, and I'm getting married in a little bit less than 6 months to my fiancé John.
Claudia Hanlin: Where are you going to have your honeymoon?
Andie: We thinking Asia. We are having in at outdoor ceremony in central park in New York and then a reception and museum.
Claudia Hanlin: Why are you wearing gown?
Andie: I don't know
Claudia Hanlin: Hi my name is Claudia Hanlin, I owned this one is called the wedding library and we delighted to be planning Andie and John's wedding the summer.
Andie: Do my fiancée and I have to have an equal number of bridesmaids and grooms men.
Claudia Hanlin: I don't thing so at all really it does not make it any difference I think it will be very unbalanced if you have two bridesmaids and here 10 grooms bride. But if for example he goes whole number of grooms and they can noise and rushers or be a acknowledged some other way.
Andie: Okay, so I'm in the process right now. I'm trying to find my bridesmaid dresses and there a price range at the program in terms of asking them to pay.
Claudia Hanlin: I think again its for them very personal from bride to bride and brides mate to brides mate, you'll know you are brides mates budget, and certainly if there are one or two or best for her you can very quietly purchase a full amount of gift if it sort for cost for more that you know the girl choosing dress that's possibly about all of your budgets, you could supplement the cost of the dress and I think that's a lovely way, for them to get really dressed and being not go get the having the dress that you really want them to wear. How is your registering going?
Andie: It's really fun and its going really well, I guess is there suppose in number of places that is too many to registrar.
Claudia Hanlin: How many you are thinking now?
Andie: I just thinking of three to four that's register
Claudia Hanlin: Just make sure when you register for public form more things and you'll need you don't really want to struck without anything of your registry.
Andie: Is it on possible of to add additional registries say two months before the wedding and If I see that in many things I can buy and I may be some of the personal store that have fantastic things is that okay to the host.
Claudia Hanlin: Totally about what I have seen happening is that won't get dedicated very people, so you'll end up with getting very few things, from registries are better to do in spontaneous you passed.
Andie: okay, so how ever I guess no where we have registered.
Claudia Hanlin: Again this is something you get family and bridal party both sides of it should be very conversion about and be able to be engage your guest about And I will point there is not its hopeful and not going to happened for you the guess - guest to the wedding .
Claudia Hanlin: It's obviously and it paying for you to well gets -- under the night So it's formal and polite in the guest part, to something gift okay.
Who do I invite?
Andie: Because we can only have 200 people that are wedding reception and parents - was about 180, so I think we will have to have an A list and the B list in be list unfortunately.
Claudia Hanlin: But you cant, then you have to make sure that you invite the A list people part of had at time, still the -- don't really realize, that they are in list, so you should really mix the same group of friends, to list, since you are going to ask your engagement has a new one. Come up to your -- looking usual wedding.
Andie: They have that habit,
Claudia Hanlin: And I have just plate with some sandwich oh.
Claudia Hanlin: I think it hears is not ideal too. Tell them up front because its lot there is hurt for them until you like the way then, and have to have you find out later once is spoken to friends and other family members and other guest and replying that they were going to be there two and then finally other --
Andie: There are so many people on our list and our venue can on accommodate 200 people so John and I have decided that we are only inviting in friends to bring the guest of it some one that they been the dealing for long time,
Claudia Hanlin: But rule should be If they are engage they can bring their fiancée, or if live to gather, they can be bring their fiancée. But it shouldn't be you know if I deal mutual relationship is serious enough then you can bring a day because I'm in hurt feeling.
Andie: No, I am going to be put enough decision
Claudia Hanlin: thinks up
Andie : So my future in-laws are giving him a in house dinner the night before, and come across you know few questions, what are the -- whom to me invite?
Claudia Hanlin: Well more and more often they are a vast majority of guest to weddings, who are coming from other time, sometimes it becomes like and another wedding. It might be good idea to just pardon completely to the bridal party in a immediate family.
Claudia Hanlin: So in terms of your invitation, how your parents coming,
Andie: Well the one question I have is you know the place where we are having a reception is in museum its very formal, and my fiancée say and I do one have black tie reception, its not something that we should make a indication to on the invitation, is not appropriate ?
Claudia Hanlin: It really isn't appropriate, and I think you can get away with that, if your guests will pick up the queues from the very formal invitation, and the venue and the time of event that this formal preferable.
Andie: And another question I have is our parents are actually splitting the cost of the wedding, should it that be obvious from invitation, do I put both my parents names and my fiancée's parents name on the invitation?
Claudia Hanlin: It will be gracious of you when your fiancée say, if you choose to invite, if he want stick to very formal invitation his parents are not -- that's certainly acceptable as well, and you could put as third choice, together with their families right put the - name is well both of your names as well but return include that everybody.
Andie: Right okay. As many people in out who'll how to gift at the reception from the guests and a kind of don't want to do that, and that if I decided to do something may be we make a donation to a charity is that's okay not to have little favor.
Claudia Hanlin : Something offering a donations is a beautiful gesture is planed that your money also will include if you done the program to mention that's so that every one just aware that he is going to tours what about gift baskets are you doing now?
Andie : I think I definitely want to do get baskets in the hotel rooms, and they just a really nice way to do, thank for guest those guest who are traveled a long distance
Claudia Hanlin: I think that's great. I think and this so welcoming excess the tone for the weekend and really its becoming quite standard too, how about ready for the movement you'll have.
Andie: We have a lot of guests, who are, from out of town. Our -- can say and I responsible for providing entertainment probably can whether that be able to list of things to do or even organized activities?
Claudia Hanlin: It's not your responsibility, their all adults, who are coming and don't send them may be you are invited to wedding not to we can extra -- how ever it is very gracious.
Andie: I know that there are glass of toes that are traditionally give at the hotel dinner, who generally makes us chose and how they chose different than the choice of getting their night of your actual wedding at the reception.
Claudia Hanlin: While your -- hosting are hosting their household dinner so certainly again the first -- of evening the welcome address to every one, who probably may be his father, or he oppose parents usually the dinner is where the both of the chose and where really everyone gets opportunity to say something nice about the two family
Andie: My parents say and I have talked about our menus already and we are thinking of not searching an options to our guest in terms of the alternate we both more firstly just decided that you know what is going to have fish and that's it and knowing that the cater in the back who have options for people, who are vegetarians or really don't like fish. Some of pairs are appropriate.
Claudia Hanlin: wedding just like any other invitation is inviting some one to be your guest. And if they wont being your guest in your home, you will be offering them many choices of main course you will be offering them what you could have?
Andie: Is it okay if we don't have a wedding cake? Its all sacrifice just -- we were thinking of may be just having the such enough little deserts rather than cake.
Claudia Hanlin: Of course, you have, some people who will a big surprise, and all the way and also you would loosing out really on good opportunity. That's pretty much it is a nice tradition to keep having about there is no long gets --
Andie : Okay but just not to me that's an important to me like a if there is so many traditions, when It comes to wedding, and so would rather pick them one set of more we need to put to me and sort of just guide line and don't have will significance,
Claudia Hanlin: Oh! That's good reason have to do it
Claudia Hanlin: Probably we will be getting guests, from the moment you are engaged so at least here after your wedding. Unfortunately people don't really stick to the its really 3 month for after the wedding send the gift, they will be sending new things, also you might find the some very powerful people will go back to registry for your first anniversary, so make sure its stays out then you have received everything that's a great thing, you got.
Andie: Right, and then how much time do I have to register right thank you know,
Claudia Hanlin: Well we should be writing and thanking every one to the three months, when receiving the gift.
Claudia Hanlin: And that's the pretty good will of --
Anide: And if seems like a lot of time actually.
Claudia Hanlin: And will see that the gift then I also and it seems like lot of time actually it's a lot time but you are ready on your honeymoon perparation, and you will be still there should be trickling and you will be have lot of things to do, when you get back so do you have a little bit of any way. That also for engagement gets of there is a some challenge there, probably the timeframe for - think you know should be able to short early.
Andie: I see okay.
Claudia Hanlin : well, basically thing registry notes just show you now what before the wedding an actually through the course of your marriage you can use your maiden name on the ground for ever obviously before you get married you should have certainly being using your maiden name and for all thank you notes its best arise very personal about the gift if its catch then you should acknowledge where that money is going to --
Andie: saving towards the car or what ever it likes.
Claudia Hanlin: Like your honeymoon or its just some wonderful gift that much you appreciated, so always including something personal very important than thanking notes and then after your wedding you want to be very popular just you know John does not have to write any of the thank notes this is not a politics and I'm obligated but there is you feel some strictly have if hearing to formal adequate you will be writing all of the thank you notes its quite a project. You will have to skip that --
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