How to Handle a Crying Employee

With talks of layoffs and downturns, an emotional employee could show up in your office at any time. Ed Muzio, CEO of Group Harmonics, says that even though it might make you uncomfortable, don't push to end the conversation. Give the person time to express their feelings and concerns, then let them know that you're there for them.

Sydnie Kohara: I had to tell my staff that we were going to have cutbacks, and the next thing you know, I've got this employee who's just crying her eyes out in my office. How do I handle this? Edward Muzio: So, this is uncomfortable for you? Sydnie Kohara: Absolutely. I want to get out the Kleenex myself. Edward Muzio: That's the good thing to notice, and I'm telling you that because the first thing you need to do is separate. I am feeling uncomfortable. What am I going to do? You're going to feel discomfort. Don't let that drive you to shut down the conversation. Let the person talk for a few minutes. Let him or her express their feelings, their concerns. Just give some air time. Sydnie Kohara: So I've done that, and they are still just sobbing away. What more can I do? Edward Muzio: Well, now you want to start to let them know that you're hearing them, and the way that you do that is you reflect back the facts of what they're saying, but more importantly, you reflect back the emotional content. So I might say, "You know, Sydney, wow. I can see why this is so upsetting for you. I can see you're very upset, and I would be too if these three things you just told me were true for me." So you're hearing me tell you back what you're saying. You're feeling hurt. Sydnie Kohara: Is there anything I should avoid during what is a very difficult conversation? Edward Muzio: Well, one important thing to avoid: do not make promises you can't keep just to get the crying to stop. You know, we all want to fix it for somebody, and, you know, if someone's crying about their mortgage payment, you should not say, "I'll make the mortgage payment for you." That's way over the line. You should offer to help with the things they're concerned about within the guidelines of what you can do. Sydnie Kohara: How is a delicate way to close a conversation like this? Edward Muzio: Well, one sentence I like, one phrase that I like is to say, "And I'll still be here tomorrow." You know, in other words, we're ending this conversation in this moment, but I'm here to support you within the bounds of what I can do, you know, today, tomorrow, and in the future so they don't feel like they're left out on their own. Sydnie Kohara: In summary. Edward Muzio: In summary, first, allow them airtime to share their feelings and their emotions and be heard. Second, let them know you've heard them by reflecting back the content and the emotion of the conversation, and then third, move into a conversation about how you can help them with some of the issues the face within the boundaries of what you can reasonably do.