How to Manage the People Managing You

Ed Muzio, CEO of Group Harmonics, says in order to manage your "Role Set"--the people who set expectations with you and those who take up most of your time--you need to build trust. He explains that by using the ICE model identify, connect, and explain" they will see you as predictable, reliable and responsible.

Hi, I'm Edward Muzio, CEO of Group Harmonics and I am going to tell you how to manage the people managing you. I think at one time or another, most of us have wished that we were all alone in the workplace. There I am, by myself, no one telling me where to go or what to do. Unfortunately, nobody gets to have this. We all have at least one person, our manager who is pushing on us, giving expectations, telling us what they want. Now if you think about it you can probably pretty easily think of some other people doing that too. Maybe you have a co-worker you are working with, maybe there's an employee you have that demands a lot of your time, maybe there's a manager in another department that you are doing some work with or maybe you have a superior from somewhere else in the company who has got an interest in what you are doing, or even a customer with some expectations on you. If this is happening to you, you should know you are not alone. It is very typical. Role Set Theory tells us that each of us have a group like this of about five to eight people -- I've drawn six here that we call our primary role set in the work place and our primary role set communicates two things to us. They communicate expectations, that's what they want us to do and they define rewards and sanctions. That is rewards, what we get if we do what they want us to and sanctions or how they punish us or make our lives miserable if we don't do what they want. Now, it's interesting about role set theory is that research has shown that our role set can drive greater than 80 percent of our workplace behavior. That's right. These people are driving the majority of what you do at work. That means they can make your life miserable if they want to. You didn't choose them, but they are there. So, what do you do? I like the ICE Model -- I-C-E. Three things everyone should do with their role set. First, you need to identify who they are. Answer the question, who are those five to eight people in my role set. If you are not sure, look at the people you spend a lot of time with, and look at the people who drive you the most crazy. There's a good chance those people are in your role set. Second, you want to connect with them. That means you want to build a one-on-one relationship. Do a team building, go to a bar, whatever you have to do to begin to learn from them what they do and build a personal relationship. That's because of the third thing, you need to explain. You need to begin to teach that person, talk to him or her about what it is you do and the other pressures on to you, so that he or she learns a lot about you as an overall worker. The reason is you need to be three things with the members of your role set. You need to be predictable, reliable, and responsible. That means when they ask you for something they know what to expect -- predictable. That means they know if you say you'll do something you do it -- that's reliable and that means they know you are working on their stuff even when they are not looking. That's responsible. This is basically an operational definition of trust. And you need the members of your role set to trust you. So remember, these five to eight people, your role set are driving 80 percent of what you do at work. It is in your best interest to identify them, who are they, connect with them on a personal level and begin to explain and teach to them about what you do. The reason is you want to build trust with them and have them trust you. If they do you will not only be more productive at work, but you will have a less stressful experience as well.