Poetry and Romance in the Internet Era

With internet dating, cell phones and social networking we are all connected on so many levels. But when it comes to wooing a woman (or even a man) is there still a place for poetry, love letters and soft serenades?

Audra: With internet dating, cellphones and social networking, we’re all connected on so many different levels but when it comes to wooing a woman or even e man, is there still a place for poetry, love letters, song serenades? Can you really woo with words or has all this connecting just really made us disconnected? Well author of The Man Plan and Better’s relationship expert, Whitney Casey, sat down with another author, Melissa Broder, and they’re talking love and longing in the age of information. Whitney: Thanks, Audra. Okay so, Melissa, I want to know really, can you really woo with words? I mean with all of the stuff out there, with all of the information age, we can really use the simple word? Melissa: Absolutely, it’s a contrast because here we’ve got Twitter, we’ve got Facebook, we’ve got everything digital so the actual feel of the word is what really will bring people in. Whitney: So you have to go old school on them? Melissa: Exactly, the OG. Although, if you look at hip hop music, there still doing it, you know. So poetry is very relevant. Whitney: Tracy is a poet? Melissa: Exactly, Little Wayne, 100%. Whitney: They’re all poets. So let’s talk a little about some of the most famous poets. And there once, is actually funny, because remember in Sex in the City there was a book of love that never really existed. The book that she was talking about. But some of the most famous, you say, are really not the ones that are the most relevant to use. Melissa: Well here’s the thing, I think that, you look at the poems that are used in weddings. The classic poets like Shakespeare’s Sonnet Number 18, shall I compare it to Midsummer’s Day. The language in that poem is really, has a broad theme so it’s going to be true throughout the ages but if you’re going to write your poem for your man or your woman, you’re going to want to use language that really pertains to them. And I think that one thing to do is to write about their obsessions. So I like to do, in my book When You Say One Thing But Mean Your Mother, what I did was, if I was writing about a particular person I would still nonce from that person’s favorite band from one of their songs. So Nirvana, or Belle and Sebastian. So if you’re writing a poem for someone and they’re big Nirvana or Belle and Sebastian fan, and you still nonce from those songs, they’re going to love that poem. Whitney: What if they’re a big Gossip Girl fan. Melissa: You can, I’m a big Gossip Girl fan. Whitney: OMG in your poem? Melissa: Why not? It’s relevant, you know, it fits the times and TS Elliot said, you know, good writers borrow, great writers steal. Whitney: I like that. Is it okay for men to really write a poem, I mean is that okay? Melissa: Of course, its okay, it’s better than okay. Whitney: And women still want this, you really think women want poems? Melissa: Absolutely because it’s personal and also what women want, we want men to emote. Whitney: Do they have to actually write it or can they just email it? Can they tweet it? Melissa: I think the tweeting probably no, but if you’re more comfortable. Whitney: 140 character, what’s a haiku? Melissa: Haiku is 5-7-5, so that totally, you can totally do that Whitney: You can do that in a tweet? Melissa: You can tweet haiku all day long. Whitney: That’s kind of scary, actually. Let’s talk a little bit also about, when you talk about other tips because if you’re going to sit down and you’re a men and you’re going to write a poem or if you’re a women and you’re going to woo your men with a poem, you say don’t rhyme, it’s Dr. Cist time. Melissa: You don’t have to rhyme, that’s the beauty of it. Although as I’ve said in hip hop, you know, they use inrans all the time. A-B-A-B schema, A-A-B-B, all the time in hip hop. But you don’t have to rhyme. And my suggestion if you’re going to sit down and write a poem, is you can’t write well if one hand is writing and the other hand is editing. Whitney: We know how that is. Melissa: Yes, because if you’re censoring yourself. So I will just sit down and free write for about 15-20 minutes. Put it away, go to sleep, watch Gossip Girl, and then the next day you can get up or later that week and then you can edit. but the first thing you’re going to want to do is just to write and get all the thoughts down. Whitney: Is that what you did for you book? Melissa: That’s what I did for each of the poems, in each of those poems in When You Say One Thing But Mean Your Mother they had about 20-30 adage each. Whitney: Oh, ouch. I know, I know about edits. Melissa: Yes, I’m sure you do. Whitney: Anyway, last question, you don’t always have to just write for your loved one. You can write for your sister, your mother, your best friend, it’s a good idea to be able to do it for anyone. Melissa: Exactly, write about your obsessions, write about the things you love coz that’s going to produce the most beautiful poetry and so even if you’re single you can be writing love poems. I mean how excited would your mom be to get a love poem. Whitney: That’s all she needs your mother’s day. Okay, anyway, thank you Melissa for being here, it’s a great book. Poetry, it’s back, wooing with words, we love it. Alright Audra, back to you.