Shirley Gonzales' Coping with her Husband's Suicide Part 4/4

This Soul Survivors video tells you about Shirley Gonzales' coping with her husband Alex's suicide part 4/4.

Caption: Today, Shirley educates others about suicide. Shirley Gonzales: Hi, guys. Thank you for coming. My name is Shirley Travinio. I’m boss lady of Apocalypse Entertainment, and I’m trying to raise awareness about suicide. I lost my husband back in December of 2008—December the 8th to be precise. And it was through suicide, and I just want to raise awareness. I want everybody to realize that this thing—I think that suicide gets slipped under the rug and it doesn’t get as much attention as it should. I think that everybody should see the signs, which is something I didn’t do. I didn’t see signs. And there were signs there. Now that I’m at this point in my life, I realized that there are signs that were there, and I want people to know about those kinds of signs. I want to help people. I don’t want anybody to go through what I’m going through. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. It’s really hard. It’s really hard to deal with suicide, to deal with losing your spouse—anyone for that matter, whether it be your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, a friend. Whatever it is, losing them to suicide is just—it’s really hard because you know they had a choice. And they made that choice. And that’s what hurts the most, and that’s probably the hardest for me. An accident, it would have had to be something accepted because of the fact that it was an accident. But for someone to choose to take their life, to me, is just really harsh, and it’s really wrong. My husband wasn’t a bad person, but he made a bad decision. He made a decision that he can’t come back from. Now we’ve all made bad decisions. I’ve made bad decisions in my life. But I could come back from it. I could learn from it. That’s something he can’t learn from. But I want everybody else to be able to learn from his—from what he did his mistake. And I just want everybody to realize that suicide’s not the answer. You’re just going to leave people in pain. Tomorrow’s always another day. We’re not ever promised tomorrow. Things could actually get better. But if you don’t give yourself that opportunity, you’ll never know what tomorrow brings. Fat Boi: She’s—I know she’s had about a lot of kids, a bunch people that had been in trouble like that. He helped me out when nobody was letting me do shows or whatever. And her and her husband opened up doors for me, you know? And they offered to help me do shows. Shirley Gonzales: Just know what he’d tell you: “you could do it”. Fat Boi: You’re Fat Boi here, don’t sweat it. Shirley Gonzales: That’s right, you’re Fat Boi. Fat Boi: And thanks to them, her husband, and to her, that she’s still going with it, you know? She could’ve stopped on her time but she’s doing it. If it wasn’t for them, then I don’t know where I’ll be- right at the beginning. Caption: Shirley also organizes donations for needy children—something her late husband started. Shirley Gonzales: This year makes our 3rd annual. We’ll go give them out to the children that are underprivileged, needy children that just maybe are not going to have a good Christmas because their mom or dad lost their job. 22: This song is called “One Night”. [Demonstration] The song “One Night” is dedicated to Alex, my grandmother, and my pops. It was a song that I was far from making. And it’s like Alex and the lord, can we ride with them for one night? And you change our life, you know? If I only had the one night, I’ll change just to ride with him for one night. Shirley Gonzales: What he did, he made a bad decision. But it doesn’t make up for all the good that he did. He had a very good heart. And I just want his memory to live on. I want people to know that Alex Gonzales was a very good person. He just happened to make a bad choice that he couldn’t back. This choice had repercussion, and that was not ever coming back. Speaker: Tragically, Alex was not the only victim of his fatal choice. But personal heartache can’t steal Shirley’s gratitude for the precious gift of life, or stop her fight to keep hope alive for others.